Away for Awhile - AT WAR

Yeah. I was away for quite a few lightyears. That's cause I was so busy being a moron and by that I mean I was part of a highly-skilled special covert ops team named Counter NS meaning National Service team. Counter NS were bozos who never went to the highly-acclaimed camp by the government. We were supposed to go against those who did go.

The counter NS team.

How did we fight itoff? With guns and BALLS of PAINT! PAINTBALLWhere? Beside a rundown high school Phor Tay in town. Who died? Many of us , some repeatedly. Its RM45 per pax btw. 200 rounds per bozo.

I m Back again.

I have returned from no mans land to my homeland. Now, I am on the other side of PG island at a friend, Daniels lovely home. Today, was a heck of a day. Only pictures can truly tell the tale of 4 bozos :

1st Stop - Silversmith

2nd stop - Paddyfield Laksa n Coconut drink which never came

3rd stop - Pulau betong fishing village and beach

4th stop- Sunset from hilltop restaurant.

Baliked Kampung! SHopping record!

First of all! Merry Raya and Happy Aidilfitri to all Muslim and all non Muslim friends too! The season of ketupats, lemangs, forgiveness has descended upon us my fellow friends! Eat up! Grow fat! Oh yeah, I forgot, this Raya I deserve to BUKA PUasa too for I too have Berpuasaed(Fasted) and succeeded in doing it ...... for one day. Well, thats a first for me. So, I am rather proud of myself. Oh yeah did i not mention, I missed the prize presentation ceremony- "one of the proudest moments in my life". I'd get a cert that'd say " Succeeded inFasting for 1 day" which i reckon must be a real asset for any scholarship and job interviews. On top of that, I'd get a mysterious prize. COme on, what could be better???


Let me tell u wat.

THIS

Yeah. i jz returned from the capital of Malaysia- Kuala Lumpur. It definitely is the capital. I love Penang the most but if I were given a chance, Penang would be my official first wife, KL would be the mistress. Anyway, unfortunately, there's only one IKEA in Kuala Lumpur and its THE Ikea in the whole of Malaysia, wait, its THE only IKEA in the southern hemisphere of the World if u exclude SIngapore and Australia. It's not only the disneyland for architects, interior designers, newly-wed couples settling down, but it's also fantasyland for bozos like me. My gosh! I wished I could buy up IKEA itself.

Ok enough advert for IKEA. So, KL, I love it but never as much as the feelings I have for Penang.

Yes, I broke a personal record, 5 shopping sites in one day.

Central Market(if u even consider it as one, and yeah the central market region gives one the feel that Malaysia is indeed TRULY ASIA for when you're there, u feel like ur in Bangladesh or Jakarta or even Myanmar)

KLCC ( yes another more diluted version of the central Market and Pudu area with a bit more Malaysians, Caucasians and Arabs making it feel less like Myanmar, Cambodia or Bangladesh)
Kino Kuniya- where I attain near 99% orgasmic satisfaction with ...

BOOKS

that is. Haha.
I found Mein Kampf by our dear old Adolf but the price tag .... well u know..

Stadium - where its yet a personal record with the purchase of a whooping number of 3 swimwear for myself. It was a mega sale of course and its not that my vital organs in contact with my swimwear is too sharp or smg. SO get that out of ur debauched minds

This isnt what u think it is. See, the bal says PURE GRIP.

Posing after trying out some trunks.

and Topman..

And yes. who's this model with TOPBOY? Wait,its not typo error, its a new branch from TOPMAN. LOL and I am the ambassador.

The Curve- not that happening as expected. I did defaecated withmuch comfort. No curves noted though. Checked out Borders and met a KMPK friend over there.

TESCO which is next to IKEA.- had lunch here. Muffins, bagels, doughnuts and KFC. How pathetic! Yes I know.

And the Greatest ONE!
IKEA ladies and gentlemen!
The furniture, interior designs, fantastic! I could live here for a year! Give me a couple of books and I'd be more than happy to live here for maybe not one year, 1 month's enough. Other than the fact that I'd have to have Swedish breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days, this would be PARADISE!

As for the photos..... Well I couldnt help but..

COme on here...

WHat's cooking

Now, this is what I am talking about? IKEA even sells this!

So much love, u'd be drowning,
tshin

BACK!

Finally, I am back in Penang AGAIN! And yes finally I am updating this little diary of mine which has been left to collect cyber dust for quite a while. So, its the Merdeka holidays, one extra day in Penang. One more day in Penang sudah cukup satisfying. Yes, you'll want more but ur logical mind tells u " No. Go back to Gopeng with the others. Study. Focus. That's what you'll do. Focus. "

So i boarded the bus back to Penang when the skies were clear, the sun was high and the bus drivers were assholes on wheels. My luggage and a few of my friends nearly got rammed by the bus that was supposed to fetch us back. The driver, a total degenerate. Anyway, i got up the bus and yes, I could not get a seat. The bus seats were completely filled. Funny, Pak Moose, the ticketman sells extra tickets even though the no. of seats available is 0. I was Forced to take my place at the stairs, the co-drivers seat, right beside the door. If I were to doze asleep with my head against the door, I may just roll off the bus, get rammed by a 4W drive going 180km/h on the NS Expressway. So i decided to move to the back and deprive my godbro of his maximum ass resting grounds. With 1/4 of my already tiny ass on the seat, I watched Saw 4, courtesy of another bozo Adam, my nephew. Tats what i call a movie that gets u sitting at the edge of ur seat. Though, throughout the journey, i had to admit I lost the constraints holding me down, words deprived of much courtesy poured out unto Pak Moose. B4 that, he sees me sitting at the co-drivers seat b4 the bus set off, i complained to him but he told the driver to drive on anyway. Of courselah i angry. However, long after, he smsed, telling me he'll refund me my money.

Anyway, upon reaching in Penang, i rushed to yet another party at g hotel. Wait, is party the right word when its a Rm120 per pax dinner( i wouldnt go if i had to pay, got free tickets) in the grand ballroom. With my 3 day old formal wear, I couldnt help but notice how different this atmosphere is from our beloved KMPK. And the best part was we got to see the new Malysian band AkashA perform live. Adjectives : Marvellous, splendid.

......

Too sleepy continue typigndgdgtyomorrow..

Where is the Boy?

GOne, Missing, Vanished, an act of magic? Hmmmm..... Where did this little boy go? Certainly not Yugoslavia. He was in TheCollege of Knowledge-Gopeng and then he travelled to a distant land called Perlis. THe College of THe Endangered Species and finally he came back to where it all started - Penang.

So its Gopeng, Perlis, Penang.

So on friday afternoon, this little clown felt a little down as he sees his friends and practically 90% of the other students boarding buses or hopping gleefully onto their parents' automobiles. SOme are enjoying themselves in shopping malls. He asks himself
" WHY? WHY? WHY? " " why must this happen to me "
Bt wait, he's not alone, his two other brudas are still there. Bt they are far far away back in their rooms. While I, as u would u see in the movies, broken.down.dead.suicidal. I was at the bistro. HEads down, at the "pub" style table, with a cup of not aShaken Martini but Iced Tea in one hand. Suicidal. And then, a few angels emerged to save me from a certain death. They were the birthday girls and gang, Boon Siew Motors, Suk Yik Sweet , Ru En Entao and another girl of which i forgot her name. They were the angels sent from heaven, showering me with human compassion and care, lifting me out of the pits of hell. Ok did i go too far?

Anyway, so at 5 I, being a madman, rushed through all those packing and bathing and quickly got on to the college bus ready to leave for Perlis. And when the bus was about to leave, I realized I forgot my blazer for the public speaking( event which shall not be named)competition. So, I rushed back to my room miles away and back. The bus left and we arrived at the college in Perlis at around 12am I must say.
Checked into our 5 star hostels. Went into the bathroom, checked the room and discovered countless new species of insects : Spiders on my bed and more...... in the toilet. Jasper, Adam, I-man and the famed Al and I were in the same room. We couldnt help but feel very grateful for us being sent to Perak and not Perlis.

And so the games began. Waking up at 6am evryday, shouting war chants, singing songs, going for games. The whole team went into the drains except for the girls netball team and our beloved tennis doubles team Jasper and Iman who got silver. Intense. Meanwhile, I lost pants down. My speech " IN search of that everlasting stream" with the theme global peace, made me the crowd favourite, and yes, my coach and Madam Ng were very impressed with it. But the point is, the judges didnt really like it to be a winning piece. WHy? Heres what they commented on mine:
a) " Too natural spontaneous and entertaining"
b) Lacked seriousness

I have to admit. All of the other speakers memorized their speeches and yes that was a more secured path but me being hard headed, I really didnt feel like memorizing my speech for I believe public speaking is to be natural, spontaneous, entertaining and be able to create a rapport with the audience but of course with substance in the speech. Well, I did repeatedly say

Science is being raped ladies and gentlemen. For it has being utilized not for the good of man, but for the creation of devastating killing machines.

Well anyhow, i enjoyed myself, being on the team and all. But, I felt really sorry for our college too. Really sorry. But well its too late to apologize, so lets just stop and stare at the trophies in the hands of the other colleges. On the last night, there was a closing ceremony and there were songs. ANd so, I observed, all the other college students were dancing around to the rythm of the music but as I turned and looked at our team, we were so down, we were like dead logs slumped on our seats. Ofcourse, we met quite a few interesting characters and people there to our delight.

Penang.
Adams parents treated me to seafood! Crabs!!!!
Went home. Hugged my grandparents. Lied on the floor. Happy.
More Penang food to come.
Swam! under the hot 1pm sun. The total distance now is 2km. Today I added an extra Km to my swimming meter. Tomorrow its gonna be an extra 1.2km i hope. Well I do have to live up to my name as a "swimmer" back in Gopeng right.
Wait, Now I have to go help out with my father. TO the hokkien chinese, todays a big day, the day when the doors of the skies open.

And of course some delicious photos from the UNESCO World Heritage Anniversary Celebration
in Georgetown.

helping my sis with T-shirt printing for Anak Anak Kota.

Yummy Biceps. Wait those are not Photoshopped k!

Who's more dead. I think u know the answer

Me at AAK's booth. Nice to see my friends, colleagues and queen again

Helping out or rather posing for Penang Heritage Trust Papa PRoject.Copy AhlPha 1. Copy. The governor has left the mosque.

With so much love you'd be drowning,
tshin

Adventures of Ah Khoo

I was busy, away and recently Offline. Yes, I kinda went away for quite a while. So, where did this little bugger go? Form 6? No. He packed on the 10th of May and off he went to a distant land. On a rather large four-wheel vehicle, he went deep into the jungle, passing oil palm plantations, abandoned warehouses( great setting for Bollywood fighting scenes), lambs, cows and lots of cats. And, in formal wear, he scaled the great mountains of Gopeng, blisters on his feet as he trekked his way up the formidable cement steps, dragged his lifeless body under the searing hot sun, through this treacherous journey. This, is the moment, a new chapter in history of mankind, surpassing even the discovery of evolution by CHarles Darwin himself.

*drum rolls*

Ah Khoo is now in Matriculation. One step made in Matriks, a thousand steps for mankind. A new era begins.............................................

Wait, I am on the phone with Discovery Channel and wait heres another one I have to put on hold- Nat Geo..

And I am back. I am also "back" in Penang for today and I have exactly14hours and 20 minutes before I leave the comfort of my home for my new home to be for a year. and no, its not my mistress's penthouse. It's Gopeng! The ShangriLa of Perak. Boy, I have to admit, other than school life, the scenery there truly captivates me. boy , one can just be rooted at one spot, just looking at the curvacious bodies (wait u read finish first, dont think bukan bukan) and sexy contours of ....................................

THE Mountains and HillsLaH! and the ghostly clouds just floating amongst them. Walao, the sun might be evil during midday but she sure is beautiful when she awakes from her sleep, and also when she's about bid goodbye. Beautiful. Beautiful.

ANd theres the other scenery- boys dorms toilet cubicles. Where the most elegant flow of mud-like shit gush out of the bowl, filling the ground with a nice shade of brownish yellow.

I have to go now. But will keep u updated as soon as possible.

So much love, it'll be like the shit gushing out of the cubicle in Gopeng,
tskhoo

Tavellogue

Attention: A video has jz been updated below
It's been centuries, I guess since I last updated this blog. Well, I have been travelling. Yeah, going up and down the North South Highway 6 times in a week sounds like a trip to me.
SO, first trip, me and my friend dr law
Destination was Kuala Lumpur. Purpose: 2 A-Levels Full Scholarships Exams for Ruthin School and ROyal Wolverhampton School in London.
Venue : British Council KL, Jalan Ampang
TIme : 6.30- 9pm for both days.

So the first day, we went down by bus. We reached KL , left our luggage with Aunt Jessica, the kind friend of Daniels Mum. Then, the two little boys roamed the big city of Kuala Lumpur, mostly by the more than efficient LRT and Komuter with the sexy Male voice. We Checked out KLCC and spent a lot of our time Lepaking there till 6, for the exams.

My Love.Some rest be4 the exams

Video : Small boys in a Big City - looking for British Council

Then, after the exams, we admired Mahathirs lighted Twin Metal Sticks which were rather majestic under the night sky. We went back to KLCC and we had late dinner, KLCC was closing of course and we boarded the Last train home. So, on the train, with few passengers around, we... did what we often do...

The Twin Glow-in-the-dark sticks

This isnt what u think it is

Aha! Dr Law! But there are no girls around

VIDEO TIME :
Me trying to imitate Dr Law, but failing to do so.





for I somehow banged my head against the ceiling.

Signature Pose

And well right after i came home, the nex morning, I went to Malacca...


And that elegant lady is none other than TUn Tan Siew Sin or rather Tun Tan Cheng Locks Granddaughter giving us a personalized tour of Tun Tan Cheng Locks Home.(not opened to public one leh)

In front of the tablets of Tun Tan Cheng Lock and TUn Tan Siew Sin. BangganyaOMG. That's Admiral Cheng Ho for goodness sake.

That cant be Cheng Ho. I dont feel the Chi.The potrait seems similar to the guy below.

And today..... I checked out the alternative to Form 6 - The College of Paradise in Perak.

With perfectly trimmed hanging gardens,

and conducive study environment,

and not to forget ...

It's as close as it can get to a Shangri La Hotel